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How To Avoid Struggle In A Relationship

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

There is no relationship without conflict. Since God has not made any two individuals alike, there’s sure to be a difference of viewpoint. This leads to a conflict, which at times takes the shape of a unpleasant discourse. Sometimes, little conflict can even end up damaging the relationship. So, it might only be smart if you learn to avoid conflict.

Be more open to listening. Learning to listen is one of the most important ways by which you can avoid discussions based on petty reasons. Most people tend to get into fights on account of an inherent inability to listen to what the other individual is saying. So make sure you listen to each other properly before replying. If both parties are speaking concurrently, there would be nobody to hear what’s essentially being voiced.

Exercise patience. Whatever how aggravating and irksome the things becomes, critical to not lose your cool. Don’t make the mistake of hitting the person or hollering at the top of your voice in the middle of the disagreements. If you find it tricky to govern your temper, it is suggested to do a count of 10. You can also try to visualize things which make youhappy. As an example you can always visualize about the place you wish to visit. This will pacify your senses and hence will calm you down. This will help you take the conversation or the debate forward in terribly calm and composed demeanour.

Another straightforward thing that you can do to avoid conflict from building up in relationships is to work on your empathizing capabilities. Try to understand the other person’s opinion first and only then answer in accordance. For this you can try putting yourself in others shoes to comprehend the situation better. This understanding can go a long way in avoiding and also reducing the intensity of the conflict. It is not necessary that you might always agree and understand the partner’s view point. it’s necessary that you respect your partner’s perspective nevertheless.

It is good to fight at times, but only when the fights are fair. If you can resolve an issue by fighting, then you might as well go ahead. However, it is important that you keep it fair at all times. Don’t pick up old instances or things gone by. Let bygones be bygones and concentrate on the present problem. Dragging your past will only make things worse.

Also, refrain from getting nasty during a fight and try and maintain a basic degree of respect when you’re at it. There’s simply no explanation for calling your partner names or making rude remarks even if you’re really pissed. Avoid raising your volume ; after all you’re bound to be audible even when you speak in your normal tone. Women should try and refrain from crying as it can be slightly unfair for men.

So while you may never be able to avoid conflicts indefinitely, the way you handle them will decide on whether the relationship survives or not. You may both resolve it peacefully and gain your partner’s respect or you may scream and shout and lose the relationship altogether. The final choice lies with you.

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